Darth Vinnius and the Coyotes: Year 2 By Vincent Aldrich (Coyotes) On Thursday 27th July 2023 / 7:54am
The HSHL was treated to a new GM for the Arizona Coyotes last year, Vince Aldrich. Some GM’s remember Mr.Aldrich for his short tenure in the DCHL as the GM of the Vinnipeg Jets. Mr. Aldrich was quoted as saying “The DCHL was full of assholes, HSHL is no different”
With a season record of 27-47-6 in his inaugural year for a total of 64 points Vinnius knew drastic changes needed to happen. “Last year was a huge disappointment, people were hired to play a role and they fell short” Darth says.” We will need over 100 points to make it into the post season, anything less is not acceptable. Tough choices had to be made and we made them. We have successfully completed over 10 trades in the off season with teams like Ottawa, Detroit, Buffalo, Boston, Florida, Columbus, ST. Louis. Minnesota and Pittsburgh. We appreciate the talks great deals for everyone involved. Nobody got fucked over like what happened in Pittsburgh recently In my opinion Mike needs Jesus.”
With additions to the Yotes such as: Shayne Gostisbehere, Adam Hendrique, Ben Chiarot, Ivan Provorov, Kevin Shattenkirk, Anthony Duclair, Cam Fowler, Jonathan Huberdeau, Tristan Jarry, Andreas Athanasiou and our latest acquisitions Jake McCabe and Ryan Johansen. This reporter believes 100 points is inevitable.
2024 is the year of the Desert Dogs. Good luck Bitches.
Look who showed up in the HSHL By Vincent Aldrich (Coyotes) On Saturday 11th June 2022 / 1:54pm
Hello and greetings from the GM running things in Arizona. Special thanks to Kalyn for getting drunk enough to invite Darth Vinnius to the HSHL. And a bit of a handy didn’t hurt the negotiations as well. A little darkside tugging is never a bad thing.
The Coyotes are extremely excited on making a splash this year. “this team has good bones” Darth Vinnius said and wasted no time improving the squad. Acquiring Vinnie Trochek from the Kraken. Sure it cost Soderstrom but we felt he was a closet homosexual so a decision had to made.We also felt moving Pyotr was necessary based on his wife was extremely overweight and we like to joke about banging everyone’s wife but obviously Kochetkov was never included in those jokes.And she would show up for practice sit up in the top teir and we could still here her busting ass.But it did have a kind of Kubassa odour to it so I guess we’ll miss that.Montembeault is a good kid and will play backup to Saros.
Darth Vinnius stated “we got a few more moves to make but we will definitely compete this year. I’d also like to welcome the Seattle Kraken to the HSHL. It’s going to be a fun year”. The trade office is open and we’re listening to offers. Thanks again and see you on the Ice.